Phew!
What a stinky world I live in!
I leave my house, sweetly perfumed with the morning's soap, shampoo, aftershave, and eau de toilette. Candles in the dining room, though unlit, throw delicious wafts of osmanthus and coriander. There the fun stops. The full garbage can reeks of yesterday's chicken dinner and look! a fresh poop in the basement litter box.
Outside, the air is surprisingly cool, a welcome change from the recent heatwave. At the bus stop, I endure car exhaust and the stench of a lit cigarette emanating from an SUV stopped at the light. Once the bus arrives, I am disconcerted to detect the odor of urine among the other smells in the dank air. Halfway through the route, Stinky Old Patchouli Man gets on board, leaving a fetid trail of head shop and long-unwashed clothes in his wake.
A pile of dog feces, disturbed by a single shoeprint, buzzes with flies and stinks up the air on Eutaw Street. Starbucks, thankfully, rescues me from the noxious odors for at least a brief time, and I breathe deeply of the delicious aroma of brewed coffee before heading back out into the smells of downtown traffic, pigeon poop, and the homeless.
There's a new security guard at the front door of my office building, and he's doused himself mightily with some generic men's cologne, one that smells of PineSol. It's beyond overpowering in that enclosed space.
Once upstairs, I stash my lunch in the kitchenette fridge. A stench of decayed vegetables, soured milk, and three-week-old burrito assaults my already punished nostrils. Is it coming from the fridge, or the trash can? I flee the room after determining that it's from both.
The ladies' room hasn't been cleaned all week. Surprisingly, it doesn't smell too bad, as someone has disposed of a partially-full coffee cup in the open trash bin. I wash my hands - twice - and head back to my office, plugging in my air freshener and sniffing my perfumed shirt to clear my nose for the workday to come. Hopefully my coworker who favors Axe body spray won't need to pay a visit.